World famous in Surbiton or Barnsley might not be quite what the little darlings have in mind, but a few hundred T shirts bearing his/her mugshot or something raunchier ex Facebook would do the job in most towns. Anyone wearing one in the bar of choice for the event gets a free drink. There's a recession on? Try telling that to a seventeen year old with the big day coming up and indulgent grandparents.

Cricket lovely cricket

When the Ashes were last contested in England, Scribbler made the rashly optimistic prediction that cricket kit would be the new big thing for printwear. It didn't happen. This time around we've had a very successful Twenty 20 tournament as the pipe-opener but still you don't see too many replica kits being sported, even at the grounds. And why is this? Could it be that only the colour-blind or the most chauvinistic fan can stand the thought of wearing these design disasters? Most of the county cricket clubs are guilty of the same error. I remain convinced that the demand is there. I suggest that there is a market for producing the unofficial supporter's shirt(s), something designed to be stylish, so you don't need to pass sick-bags around before you put it on.

Mobile madness

Half of our children aged 5-9 have a mobile phone and there are plans afoot to launch a phone aimed at the under fives - it's already on sale in Ireland. This ought to be from marketing la-la land, but if five year olds are big business why not four year olds? The new phone has limited functionality and some parental control built in. It also costs £85  - maybe not so la-la. But hold on: children using mobile phones, says a Swedish university hospital's research, are five times likelier to get brain cancer. Hopefully, the price has some serious product liability insurance costed in.

A teacher for Apple

Steve Jobs the CEO of Apple has had a liver transplant, news of which wiped 1.5% off the share price in one day. That's a serious chunk of money in their case. Given that Jobs has already recovered from pancreatic cancer, institutional shareholders are getting twitchy about Apple's succession plans. There are some problems with that: Jobs is invariably described as charismatic or visionary and such individuals don't just pop out of the woodwork to order; more important, Jobs is also described as autocratic - anyone who's a mini-me gets short-shrift. The message here is about corporate structure: regardless of the size of your business or your ego, you should have succession planning in place, otherwise what is all the hard work for?

Paid to lie in the sun

Anyone who has ever felt deeply jealous of travel writers has good cause - free flights, free hotels, free food and drink. It's as good as being an MP. Now we can all join in. simonseeks.com is a travel website launched by Simon Nixon who has made a £100m fortune out of price comparison sites, so there's a track record. You submit your review and any commissions resulting from your deathless prose they share with you. They're going to need plenty of feedback, though. The potential for promoting your aunty's pension as Lloret de Mar's answer to the Crillon will be too tempting for some.

Put your shirt on it

If I were a bookmaker, I'd be using printwear to death at major sporting events. But neither I nor acquaintances have ever seen a bod wearing a shirt saying "Joe Soap to score first pays 10-1" or similar near a sports ground. If targeting is marketing's great God then this must be cost effective. I predict that they could pay the bods with match tickets as well.

When love turns to hate

Football fans reserve their greatest vitriol for former players who have transferred elsewhere. The first time Gareth Barry, for instance, plays for Manchester City at Villa Park, will be a horrible experience for him. I suggest, too, that Manchester United fans holidaying in Spain will want to express their newfound contempt for Christiano Ronaldo. You might feel uncomfortable about profiting from this, but someone is sure to.

King of ideas

The shaving requisites brand King of Shaves has come up with a canny way to raise money to grow their brand - borrow it from their customers. Their three year shaving bonds pay 6% pa, which is a lot at present. So, to raise a £5 million war-chest, they need a maximum of 5,000 investors, which sounds wholly realistic. They will also recruit 5,000 very enthusiastic brand advocates in the process. They promise to spend it all on marketing to boost awareness and sales of King of Shaves. Scribbler thinks they've missed a trick: they should call the product saving foam. It is highly probable that this will be copied by other brands. An investment portfolio that features razors, coffee, soft drinks and beer - now that would be a novelty.

Anyone for trench-coats?

The Wimbledon dress code and tennis gear in general don't particularly translate into printwear sales. Nor does it help that tennis is only on most Brits' radar for two weeks per year. We must all, therefore, be grateful to the likes of Venus Williams and Roger Federer who are trying to extend the range of clothing associated with one of the world's most popular sports. When I see ranges of waistcoats in the catalogues, I'll know it's worked.

RIP Michael Jackson

A unique combination of singer/songwriter and dancer or self-absorbed nutcase with a Peter Pan obsession? There are many ways that the self-styled King of Pop will be remembered. One way that is now lost would have been the extended series of farewell concerts at the 02 Arena for which promoters AEG Live face a £300 million liability. Tour merchandise (including printwear) was expected to raise as much as £10 million. It will be interesting to see if any of those products sell anyway. It's quite possible that there are warehouses full of high-value, instant collectibles.

...not good news for e-Bay, either. Those £70 tickets were being bid up to as much as £1300 on the auction site and, since such transactions broke the original terms and conditions, no refunds will be forthcoming. It's unclear how many people are holding very expensive pieces of worthless paper, but they're likely to tell everyone they know that buying on e-Bay is bad - really, really bad.

Printer friendly version

Email this article to a friend

Bookmark this

---